The Triangle, the Square & the Expectation of Sameness
Yesterday was #NationalComingOutDay, and typically I would post a note on social media proclaiming that I am ‘coming out’ and loudly announce that I am human, for no other reason than I despise the sorting of people on any level. Every year I am also reminded of an essay I wrote in 2002 and will often repost it, always hopeful it will provoke thought and bring everyone closer; if only a little.
And yet, here we are, another year gone and the divide deeper than ever. I let yesterday come and go without a single proclamation or post as I watched the newsfeed around the world fill with the voices of those determined to no longer hide, those that have paved the way and those that still rise to fight another day. The silence still ringing loudly among the millions of messages, its echo filled with fear and shame, I knew for all those driven from the darkness many more remained.
Labels, categories, slots, boxes, corners, identities, sex, gender, race, religion, orientation, disability, political beliefs, blah blah blah! The tools of hate and discourse, filling up our screens and airwaves as the spotlight shines harshly on our differences.
Our society is so hell bent on labels and categorizations that anything unable to fit perfectly in one place or the other cannot be dealt with, this is especially true for humans. To be feminine but not female, masculine but not male, gender no longer defined by biology sends a ripple through the self-righteous dictators across the land.
Disabilities highlighted over abilities, smoldering from the fires of the past the suppression continues. Some choose to believe in a god, some in many, and others none at all. The rise and fall of religion as old as time itself still leaves the remnants of slaughter in its wake. While some stand for something, others still fall for anything as we the people continue the fight for the right of free will.
The self-appointed slot fillers cannot find a place to neatly put those they deem unworthy, undesirable and expendable, the chalk of their ancestors faded to dust like the ghost of an island long abandoned the lessons of another time remain unlearned. The struggle to shove everyone into a box, to make sense of a world that isn’t meant to mirror uniformity, we watch as our fellow humans are backed into the shadows of a corner, we watch as they are stuffed into the darkness all the while insisting we are somehow superior.
The echoes of degradation and oppression ring loudly as the emotional and mental raping continue. Like a child with a sorting toy attempting to cram the triangular piece into the square compartment, society struggles against itself insisting equality somehow means sameness.
Our world has become so adamant and obsessed with the sorting and segregating of humans, we have lost the ability to see past ourselves. From oranges to apples and people to genders we act as though without the power and ability to sort nothing and no one can function.
Are we so ingrained with the expectations of what we have been taught is a gift that we can no longer see past the package and hold what is inside? Everyday reverberates with the headlines of the world, the loudest voices become all we can hear. Over and over the decades crawl forward drenched in the repugnance of the past. Whether it’s an actual headline or a story between the lines, prejudice, racism, sexism and bigotry of all colors and shapes are alive and well across the globe.
We must take the insults, the hate, the fear and pack it away in the boxes never designed to hold humans. We must remove the negativity, the hurt, the shame, the tears and the loneliness. We as a society have to stand up and reclaim ourselves, our world and our right to the pursuit of happiness; whatever that is to each of us.
We need to resist the wrong that has been normalized, and refuse to subscribe to the blatant separations and categorizations of ourselves, our friends, lovers, neighbors, classmates, co-workers, sons, daughters, brothers and sisters. We need to stop the insanity of sorting human beings like they are no more than inanimate objects to be used and thrown away.
A dictionary cannot tell you who I am. The almighty Webster cannot even begin to recite where I have been, where I am going, and all the reasons why. Words alone cannot describe a person’s self. We don’t need words to explain ourselves into someone else’s understanding. We need only be who and what we are; human.
Identity is fluid, it’s not a box with definitive boundaries, it is not something others can define for you. The categorization of heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, transsexual, or republican, democrat, independent, or white, black, Hispanic, Indian, or Jewish, Christian, pagan, Muslim, or disabled, handicapped, limited, challenged, or male, female, nonbinary cannot be singular. We are each many things, all at once. No one person is one part, and that should be celebrated. It’s our many facets that lead to greatness.
Perhaps one day there will no longer be a filing system to force each of us into the conformity of someone else’s idea of what matters. Until then, I will proudly stand up and shout that I am a member of the human race.
I am here, you are there.
We all breathe, we all dream, we all aspire to do and be great things.
We are the same, but different.
We are the Triangle and the Square.
